Worst guitar solos of all time
Pitchfork Media have compilied a list of the 50 Worst Guitar Solos. A few of them are on target, many more are not. (Blue Öyster Cult 'Awful musicians'? You must be joking). But they have the guts to put an overrated icon at number one. (Link from Dodgeblogium)
Anyway, here are my list of bad solos. There's only five of them, but I'm probably treading on sacred cows too...
Sabbath Bloody Sabbath by Black Sabbath, solo by Tony Iommi. This song contains three of Iommi's monster riffs, but the solo is the weak spot in what's otherwise a classic song. It's a thin, weedy thing. Although Iommi is known for his riffs rather than his solos, he's still capable of doing far better than this.
Everything by Vardis, solos by Steve Zodiac. I'm not naming any individual songs, because I can't remember any titles. But Vardis were one of those bands that only really had one song, and played it over and over again. I remember a review of a live album of theirs, that described it as sounding like "A thirty second excerpt of Dave Edmund's 'Sabre Dance' in a continuous loop for forty minutes". And that's exactly what they sounded like.
Paranoid Android by Radiohead, solo by Johnny Greenwood. This is an album which would have really benefitted from some proper solos. But all we get is one note strummed really fast going "EeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEe". Was that supposed to be a solo, Johnny?
Champagne Supernova by Oasis, solos by Noel Gallagher and Paul Weller. Noel seems to think that Paul Weller is a great guitarist. He's not. And Noel himself is an order of magnitude worse. Anyone who thinks Noel Gallagher is a good guitar player simply does not have a record collection that goes into double figures.
The live solo spot by Nigel Tufnel of Spïnal Tap. I'm old enough to remember the New Wave of British Heavy Metal in the early 80s. Every band gave their guitarist a solo spot where the rest of the band walked off stage leaving the axeman to go Weeeeeeeee widdlywiddly widdlywiddly widdlywiddly eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ngngngngngngngngngngngngng for a few minutes. And the audiences went wild! Well except for the people who hadn't already gone to the loo during the drum solo.
Posted by TimHall at August 02, 2004 09:46 PM | TrackBackThey've got Comfortably Numb in there!!!!!!
I agree with Vardis though. Don't forget you saw them live.
Posted by: Chris on August 2, 2004 11:20 PMI had a look but it's pretty obvious that the writer isn't exactly a music lover. So much bile!
If a music journalist is a failed musician trying to hit back, then presumably this internet manifestation is a failed music journalist. That's about as low as it gets.
Not a site I've bothered to bookmark for future reference.
He does rather indulge in generic rock-critic sneerage, and holds a lot of standard-issue prejudices (Such as hating all forms of prog-rock)
I've named a couple of fashionable indie guitarists in revenge.
Posted by: Tim Hall on August 3, 2004 10:57 PMHey Tim - talking of Top50 lists (a little off topic here), don't know if you've seen this but Yahoo UK have a top 100 mens websites list (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/promo/100men/1.html) - number 28 is 'Pictures of trains' which I thought was right up your alley: http://www.cix.co.uk/%7Erosenstiel/trains/other.htm
and number 29 happens to be Spinal Tap...
Hey man...You don't know shit about music...why are you writing about something you aint gotta a clue about...Your one lame ass motherfucker
Posted by: Unknown on October 14, 2004 06:55 PMOh look, a drive-by moron who doesn't even have the guts to sign his own name.
Posted by: Tim Hall on October 14, 2004 07:05 PMNigel Tufnel? In a way Im glad to see that included in your list, but also a little confused. It was not meant to be a GREAT solo, but the whole concept of the movie and the music was a comedy. Does humor belong in music? Definately. But to pull it apart and miss its comic meaning by calling it a worst solo? Its one of those 'so-bad-its-good' concepts thrown in to make the humor all the more enjoyable.
Posted by: Billy Millions on October 31, 2004 10:35 PMThe worst guitar solos, on the other hand, don't get talked about much. I know I left out plenty of deserving guitar dudes on this list (there's a lot of hammered shit out there, y'know). I took care to exclude bozos like Yngwie Malmsteen, Steve Vai, and John McLaughlin because, frankly, their styles seem to have less to do with pure rock-n-roll than that of say, Eddie Van Halen. Anyway, it's a good bet that some of you will consider some or all of these solos the best of all time. For those about to sulk, we at Pitchfork salute you.
Posted by: pillcafe on November 9, 2004 09:52 AMBoston more than a feeling?! that solo is beautifull..Fuck you man!
Posted by: Thomas on December 21, 2004 02:45 PMYou've got to be kidding me. Paranoid android is a genius solo and comfortably numb is epic in its own way. I dont know what you have been listening to while thinking of these as worst solo's but you've tread on hot water. And don't let me start on pitchfork media what a bunch of wankers. Pulling teeth (bass solo) is incredible they wouldnt know how to strum the bass. And dazed and confused? com'on incredible for the first zeppelin album. Yes so freebird might be a little long and daunting but i haven heard solos like that in years?
Posted by: Allan on January 21, 2005 12:44 PMhow the hell do u have comfortably numb on there? its practically the best solo ever. i can suck my balls.
Posted by: Kyle on April 17, 2005 05:42 PMgood choices, santana and hendrix proably did the best, and these just suck, and nice comment edit at the bottom
Posted by: whatup on May 20, 2005 06:15 AMTo the ignorant poser of a musician who wrote his article: you clearly don't understand good music that dosen't involve the guitar player being flashy and incoherently playing as many note as possible in as little measures. Radiohead is not a solo type of band and they are obviously more concerned with an overall sound, to which Johnny Greenwood adds to a tremendous amount, including his solo on "Paranoid Android", which fits perfectly in context to the song.
Posted by: Miles on June 16, 2005 03:01 PMTo the ignorant poser of a musician who wrote this article: you clearly don't understand good music that dosen't involve the guitar player being flashy and incoherently playing as many notes as possible in as little measures. Radiohead is not a solo type of band and they are obviously more concerned with an overall sound, to which Johnny Greenwood adds a tremendous amount, including his solo on "Paranoid Android", which fits perfectly in context to the song.
Posted by: Miles on June 16, 2005 03:02 PMYOU ARE A FUCKING RETARTED LITTLE BITCH. YOU DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT MUSIC, C'MON DAZED AND CONFUSED? PARANOID ANDRIOD? PULLING TEETH? FREEBIRD? COMFORTABLY NUMB? YOU ARE A DUMBASS. YOU PROBABLY CANT EVEN PLAY THE FUCKING GUITAR AND YOU DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING.
Posted by: gomez on June 21, 2005 04:34 AMMiles: I don't like the solo on Paranoid Android. If you have a problem with that, tough. If you can't resist ad-hominem attacks on someone who dares to have different tastes to yours, you should be sentenced to listen to nothing but Yngwie Malmsteen
Gomez: Not only do you use ALL CAPS and fill your posts with obscenities, you demonstrate your inability to read. Freebird and Comfortably numb are not in my list!
For the record, I'm not a musician, I'm just a music fan. One of the audience who's money ultimately pays musician's wages.
Posted by: Tim Hall on June 21, 2005 07:55 AM