Musician Jokes

Simon Hoggarts Diary in the Grauniad today listed a whole load of viola player jokes. A few minutes Googling leads me to believe he got them from here. There are three whole pages of viola jokes, of which this is an example:

Q: Why did the violist marry the accordion player?
A: Upward mobility.

Although it's mostly about orchestral musicians, there are the inevitable bass player and drummer jokes:

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

1. "Why? Oh, wow! Is it like dark, man?"
2. Only one, but he'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can't just be pushed in.
3. Two: one to hold the bulb, and one to turn his throne (but only after they figure out that you have to turn the bulb).
4. Twenty. One to hold the bulb, and nineteen to drink until the room spins.
5. None. They have a machine to do that.

How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?

1. None. They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand.
2. Don't bother. Just leave it out--no one will notice.
3. One, but the guitarist has to show him first.
4. Six: one to change it, and the other five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light.