The A to Z of Excuses.

We've all heard the classic "Leaves on the line" and "Operating difficulties. The uk.railway FAQ now has the A to Z of excuses why your train might be late. Such excuses as "Exploding pidgeon", "A remarkable lack of investment in the infrastructure of the railway system by government", and scarily, "This train is delayed as the guard has been taken away by the police" (He was arrested in connection with an excess fares fraud)

No sign of Reginald Perrin's "Escaped puma at Norwood Junction", though