"And was issued the headcode of two T six-four"

Who else but Mike Knell of Not in Production would write a complaint to South West Trains in verse? A sample:

I stepped forward in order to open the door
(Of a Siemens Desiro of class 444,
As being a bit of a trainspotting wonk
I often recall such irrelevant bunk.)

But the buttons to open the doors were inactive,
And the train just stood silent, Teutonically passive
With no visible guard to beg for admission
(He was probably inside with his head in a Grisham.)

He deserves some SWT travel vouchers for that.